On Monday May 2nd 2011, I went to Crusoe’s Cafe on Longsands beach in Tynemouth with my friends Wayne, Steve and Diane. With its sublime location betwixt The Grand Hotel – a former Summer residency of the Duke of Northumberland and the imposing sight of the North Sea, literally a stone’s throw away, Crusoe’s made for an idyllic setting for a drink and a bite. What could go wrong you ask?  Well, just about everything you could care to conjure up! For starters (not the food variety!)  I guess our timing was rather unwise – it happened to be the Bank Holiday – cue ‘family central!’. With the necessary implements at our disposal – a wad of money and a shoe horn to wedge ourselves through the cafe entrance, we navigated the room in our quest for a table. Fortunately, the wait for one was not too arduous,  and we briskly took the opportunity to grab our seats before one of the multitude of families jockeyed for pole position.  The cafe protocol dictated that the hungry and the thirsty were required to queue at the main counter to place their order of choice of delicacies on offer.  Wayne had a cheese burger and I had a ham and cheese pannini while Steve had a jalapeno wrap with Diane plumping for a tuna melt wrap. Despite our aforementioned ordered drinks in the form of cokes and tea, these particular items failed to turn up on arrival of our food orders kindly delivered by one of the sombre waitresses on display. It materialised that there had been a dearth of communication and in fact, we ourselves had to make the journey to the counter to collect said items which was news to us! After a shrouded apology by a staff member for this oversight, we ably ventured back to satisfy our midriff rumblings. In general, the quality of appetizers on display belied the exquisite seaside setting. In all, the fayre was at best mediocre and one of the very few plusses was that we had held enough drink back to erase the bad taste in our mouths. Now where did I put my bucket and spade? Location: 9 out of 10, Cuisine: 4 out of 10 (2 out of 5 stars)


About hotcrossbungay

I am originally from Stevenage, Hertfordshire. I have Asperger's Syndrome. My main passion is Motor Racing. In terms of other interests, I will try anything once but I mostly enjoy Performing Arts and Creative Writing.
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  1. hotcrossbungay says:

    Reblogged this on FOREST HALL FOOD.

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